纯 · 吐槽篇
Taken altogether, this paper is more suitable for a local newspaper and not for a scientific journal. In fact, the style of this paper is quite non-scientific so that it can be sent to a news agency the way it is.
总的来说，相比起科学杂志而言，这篇文章更适合发表在当地小报上。毕竟这篇文章没啥科学性，当地小报应该是它一个不错的归属了。
▲ 不会写新闻的科学家不是一个好作者！这位作者，报社了解一下？
I would recommend rejecting this manuscript as quickly as possible.
拒掉！拒掉！越快越好！
▲ 这位作者，忽然很想采访一下你，文章里到底写了啥？感觉审稿人的嫌弃都快溢出屏幕了…
It is early in the year, but difficult to imagine any paper overtaking this one for lack of imagination, logic, or data –it is beyond redemption.
新的一年才刚开始，但我怎么就感觉很难找到比这篇更扯、更没逻辑的文章呢？谁都拯救不了这篇文章了！
▲ 新年伊始就收到来自审稿人的一万点暴击，心疼一下这位作者…
If I had known this would be such an easy one to review (reject!), I would have done it sooner!
我要是知道这篇文章这么快就能审完，我肯定会早点开始审。（发出拒稿的声音，拒了拒了！）
▲ 所以说啊，审得慢也不一定是坏事…
I am sorry that I have spoiled my Xmas holidays with such a bad manuscript.
我的心好痛，好好一个圣诞假期被这么一篇糟糕的文章给毁了。
▲ 审稿人 OS：我开心得喝着酒、烤着火，刚骑过驯鹿、看过极光，为什么要忍不住这个手去看稿子…
This paper is desperate. Please reject it completely and then block the author’s email ID so they can’t use the online system in future.
这篇文章简直令人绝望。请直接拒稿，然后封了作者的邮箱，免得以后作者再投稿。
▲ 咳咳，“恭喜”这位作者，你可能要被列到黑名单了…
还能学到点教训篇
I am disturbed by your concept of ‘not very different’.
你的这个“不是很不一样”的说法让我很困惑。
▲ 让我们有请作者来解释一下什么叫“不是很不一样”。
Terms in this figure should either be all German, all Dutch or all English, but not a mix of all.
这张图中的术语要么全部用德语，要么全部用荷兰语，要么全部用英语，不要混着用。
▲ 看来这个作者还是个语言全才，羡慕你们这种会三国语言的。
The authors need to remember that adverbs in English tend to end in -ly.
请作者不要忘了英语里副词都是以 ly 结尾的。
▲ 这位作者，初中英语要不要考虑一下？最基本的语法问题，勤用 Word 自带的拼写检查…
Hundreds of commas are missing!
那么多逗号都被吃了！
▲ 审稿人不仅仅只关心文章内容，还关心标点符号。
I only am willing to read this again if it has less than 20 pages (Ed.: the original submission had 54)!
如果这篇文章能少于20页我还愿意再看一次。（编辑：原始的提交版本有54页！）
▲ 看吧，文章不是越长越好，事情写明白了才好。
I am fed up with people ignoring totally the instructions for authors.
天哪，为什么作者总会完全无视稿件要求呢？
▲ 对，写论文也有固定格式。
终于夸了作者篇
A beautiful manuscript by a leading expert in this field.
一篇由这个领域的领军学者写出的出色文章。
▲ 大佬写的文章就是好！痴汉脸！
I felt like I was teaching my grandmother to suck eggs. Accept with minor revision.
感觉我在班门弄斧了，小修之后接受。
▲ 恭喜作者，撒花花~
This year I have had the dubious pleasure of reviewing a lot of truly terrible manuscripts. However, this manuscript was a real beauty to review. Please accept this ASAP.
今年我审了很多糟糕得不能再糟糕的文章，我竟然还找到了点乐趣。但是，这篇文章真的让人赏心悦目，接收吧，越快越好。
▲ 突然有点心疼这位审稿人…
Very much enjoyed reading this one, and do not have any significant comments. Wish I had thought of this one.
阅读这篇文章实在是太享受了，没有任何意见。怎么当初我就没想到这么好的点子呢？
▲ 一个开始反思自己的审稿人…
本文转载自中科院物理所公众号，原载自白话医学研究公众号。
