做研究的总要发表论文,难免要和审稿人打交道。大家一想到审稿人是不是瞬间头皮发麻,想着每天烧高香,希望审稿人不要把自己的文章批得太难看或者直接建议杂志主编给拒了。【科研趣事转载】不会写段子的审稿人不是好审稿人!审稿意见合集,搞笑的、毒舌的...这里都有!-量子客
审稿人给出的审稿意见弥漫着一股浓浓的学术味,但是他们和杂志编辑之间的沟通就显得随意很多了,这年头不皮一下都不好意思说自己是“合格”的审稿人了!
Environmental Microbiology 从 2001 年到 2011 年,每年都会发布当年份审稿意见锦集。下面就来看看审稿人的审稿意见吧,搞笑的、让你想哭的、夸上天的...你想得到的、想不到的这里都能给你找出几条来。 

纯 · 吐槽篇

Taken altogether, this paper is more suitable for a local newspaper and not for a scientific journal. In fact, the style of this paper is quite non-scientific so that it can be sent to a news agency the way it is.

总的来说,相比起科学杂志而言,这篇文章更适合发表在当地小报上。毕竟这篇文章没啥科学性,当地小报应该是它一个不错的归属了。

▲ 不会写新闻的科学家不是一个好作者!这位作者,报社了解一下?


I would recommend rejecting this manuscript as quickly as possible.

拒掉!拒掉!越快越好!

▲ 这位作者,忽然很想采访一下你,文章里到底写了啥?感觉审稿人的嫌弃都快溢出屏幕了...


It is early in the year, but difficult to imagine any paper overtaking this one for lack of imagination, logic, or data –it is beyond redemption.

新的一年才刚开始,但我怎么就感觉很难找到比这篇更扯、更没逻辑的文章呢?谁都拯救不了这篇文章了!

▲ 新年伊始就收到来自审稿人的一万点暴击,心疼一下这位作者...


If I had known this would be such an easy one to review (reject!), I would have done it sooner!

我要是知道这篇文章这么快就能审完,我肯定会早点开始审。(发出拒稿的声音,拒了拒了!)

▲ 所以说啊,审得慢也不一定是坏事...


I am sorry that I have spoiled my Xmas holidays with such a bad manuscript.

我的心好痛,好好一个圣诞假期被这么一篇糟糕的文章给毁了。

▲ 审稿人 OS:我开心得喝着酒、烤着火,刚骑过驯鹿、看过极光,为什么要忍不住这个手去看稿子…


This paper is desperate. Please reject it completely and then block the author’s email ID so they can’t use the online system in future.

这篇文章简直令人绝望。请直接拒稿,然后封了作者的邮箱,免得以后作者再投稿。

▲ 咳咳,“恭喜”这位作者,你可能要被列到黑名单了...


还能学到点教训篇

I am disturbed by your concept of ‘not very different’.

你的这个“不是很不一样”的说法让我很困惑。

▲ 让我们有请作者来解释一下什么叫“不是很不一样”。


Terms in this figure should either be all German, all Dutch or all English, but not a mix of all.

这张图中的术语要么全部用德语,要么全部用荷兰语,要么全部用英语,不要混着用。

▲ 看来这个作者还是个语言全才,羡慕你们这种会三国语言的。


The authors need to remember that adverbs in English tend to end in -ly.

请作者不要忘了英语里副词都是以 ly 结尾的。

▲ 这位作者,初中英语要不要考虑一下?最基本的语法问题,勤用 Word 自带的拼写检查...


Hundreds of commas are missing!

那么多逗号都被吃了!

▲ 审稿人不仅仅只关心文章内容,还关心标点符号。


I only am willing to read this again if it has less than 20 pages (Ed.: the original submission had 54)!

如果这篇文章能少于20页我还愿意再看一次。(编辑:原始的提交版本有54页!)

▲ 看吧,文章不是越长越好,事情写明白了才好。


I am fed up with people ignoring totally the instructions for authors.

天哪,为什么作者总会完全无视稿件要求呢?

▲ 对,写论文也有固定格式。


终于夸了作者篇

A beautiful manuscript by a leading expert in this field.

一篇由这个领域的领军学者写出的出色文章。

▲ 大佬写的文章就是好!痴汉脸!


I felt like I was teaching my grandmother to suck eggs. Accept with minor revision.

感觉我在班门弄斧了,小修之后接受。

▲ 恭喜作者,撒花花~


This year I have had the dubious pleasure of reviewing a lot of truly terrible manuscripts. However, this manuscript was a real beauty to review. Please accept this ASAP.

今年我审了很多糟糕得不能再糟糕的文章,我竟然还找到了点乐趣。但是,这篇文章真的让人赏心悦目,接收吧,越快越好。

▲ 突然有点心疼这位审稿人…


Very much enjoyed reading this one, and do not have any significant comments. Wish I had thought of this one.

阅读这篇文章实在是太享受了,没有任何意见。怎么当初我就没想到这么好的点子呢?

▲ 一个开始反思自己的审稿人...


 


啊,最后的最后,希望大家多给科学家们一点爱,做研究不易,写论文也不易_(:з」∠)_,希望每一个投稿的人,都能看到
【科研趣事转载】不会写段子的审稿人不是好审稿人!审稿意见合集,搞笑的、毒舌的...这里都有!-量子客

本文转载自中科院物理所公众号,原载自白话医学研究公众号。